It’s been about six years since Michael Jackson released an album and almost twenty since he released anything even remotely good. Yet, MJ still can’t seem to go more than a few months without causing some kind of stir in the headlines.

I guess the biggest bummer about hearing Jacko news is not that he’s involved some sort of outlandish allegations… it’s the pictures that accompany the news that really make me wish I were blind. Or at least retarded enough to not understand what the hell I’m looking at.

Straight from the AP:

“LOS ANGELES — A London woman who claims she is the real mother of Michael Jackson’s three children was denied a role Wednesday in the singer’s custody settlement with his ex-wife, Deborah Rowe. Nona Paris Lola Jackson, 36, asked a judge to grant her joint physical custody of Jackson’s 10-year-old son, Prince Michael, and 9-year-old daughter, Paris. She also claims to be the mother of 5-year-old Prince Michael II.

“I feel her evidence fails to establish any genetic relationship between herself and the Jackson-Rowe children,” Superior Court Judge Robert A. Schnider said.

‘Debbie’s hospital records will prove that my kids are not hers because of DNA,’ she stated. In court papers, Nona Jackson contended that ‘Michael and I are a sexually active couple and have been this way from the beginning.’ She also claimed to have written more than 3,000 songs for him. The woman’s three previous attempts to have a say in the custody battle were rejected by the same judge last November and in February and May on grounds that she had failed to notify Jackson and Rowe of the hearings.”

I’m sure the judge knows there isn’t sufficient evidence to grant that crazy woman the kids, but since when do judges fail so horribly at “feeling” things out. I mean, for fuck’s sake, this is Michael Jackson we’re talking about; not some run-of-the-mill pedophile. This guy’s a seasoned veteran who’s practically untouchable by the world’s court systems. Jackson calls one of them blanket! BLANKET! I can’t imagine what Jackson does with that one.

If it were up to me, I would grant a pack of hungry wolves custody of those damn kids. But then again, if you’re crazy enough to openly admit that you have a sexually active relationship with MJ, how crazy are you? Good call, Judge Schnider.

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