“LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Outspoken comedian Whoopi Goldberg drew a scathing rebuke from animal rights activists on Tuesday for defending U.S. football star Michael Vick’s role in dogfighting during her debut on ABC’s talk show “The View.”

‘He’s from the South, from the Deep South … This is part of his cultural upbringing,’ Goldberg said of the Atlanta Falcons quarterback, whose recent fall from grace has been one of the most stunning in the history of U.S. sports.

Vick pleaded guilty last week to federal dog fighting charges, admitting he took part in an illegal, interstate enterprise known as Bad Newz Kennels and helped kill underperforming dogs.

‘For a lot of people, dogs are sport,’ Goldberg said on the show. ‘Instead of just saying (Vick) is a beast and he’s a monster, this is a kid who comes from a culture where this is not questioned.’”

Wow, really? So you’re going to stick with that, huh? I wonder if the Whoop would be so quick to jump up and defend those southerners who are—in their ignorance—so adamant about bringing back slavery…After all, it’s not like they know any better. Look, I’m not here to judge anybody, but Whoopi Goldberg is as dumb as an inbred opossum. And last I heard, it’s not such a good idea to replace fat, jaded, bitter talk show hosts (see Rosie O’Donnell. Also see hoofed animals) with retarded marsupials.

I know I know… I’m being a little unfair to both parties—Rosie is shrill, not bitter; and Whoopi is mentally incapacitated, not retarded. But really, the point is that ABC is doing their job, in terms of ratings, by hiring scandalous know-nothings to attract likeminded individuals to gleefully watch in aspirated awe… and they double up on their winnings, by having the rest of us only tune in because we’re secretly into neural masochism. 

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