Rehab Clinic Founder Compares Celebrities to Sheep

July 18th, 2007 by Daily Contempt
    Celebrity Gossip

 

leopard_celeb_rehab.jpg

Showbuzz has an immensely fascinating article about the trend of celebrities going to rehab clinics, featuring a boatload of great quotes by some guy named Howard Samuels, who co-founded the Wonderland rehab clinic, which costs upwards of $40,000 a month.

“Everyone talks about celebrities like they’re some kind of alien race,” Samuels said. “Celebrities are people. They have fears; they have insecurities, just like everyone else.”

Samuels’ staff will run errands with clients to help them incorporate recovery into their everyday life. “If you don’t take it out into the community, where are they going to learn it?” Samuels said. “If you just lock them up for 30 days and then let them out, it’s like sheep being led to the slaughter.”

I like the way this guy thinks.  It gives me an idea.  Put celebrities into a Beverly Hills rehab for a month, but while they’re inside the clinic is airlifted by giant helicopters to the remotest area of the Amazon jungle so that when the celebrities emerge they are eaten alive by leopards.  This will be a dual-purpose trend.  It will scare the celebrities into sobriety, while also assuring the public that stars are just regular people like you and me, with normal insecurities, problems, and fears, such as being devoured by a swarm of crazed fireants.   





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