Television celebrity joke of a show “Extra!” reported that Paula Abdul tripped while trying to avoid stomping her hoof-sized pup Tulip, and landed square on her snout, busting it good and landing her in the emergency room. Her publicist Brokaw, whose name is likely a portmanteau of “Broken” and “Schnauz”, denied that she had been hospitalized, but then again he’s historically denied otherwise obvious allegations that she’s perpetually drunk or loaded up on Valium and painkillers, so it’s always an uphill battle for that guy.

This could be the biggest honker problem in Hollywood since cocaine was relegated to the young and sexy. Still, struggling to combat rumors of alcohol and pill problems, Paula Abdul doesn’t exactly have the easiest road of not looking like an intoxicated bizzaro star.

Abdul still appeared on the sweeps season finale of American Idol, and did so without any bandage or much of the appearance of having suffered her “tiny bitch” trip. The batty nut job is famously off-kilter, but fans are fearful of what will happen next time Randy Jackson shouts out to his “Dog Pound”, when it’s suspected she may have horrific flashbacks to what mini-mutts have cost her famous face.

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