The Sun reports that Paris Hilton’s mother, Kathy, told reporters that when Paris is released from jail “the one thing the heiress will be looking forward to the most” is no longer having to wear an orange jumpsuit. Her mother said that Paris is “sick of orange, but her health is good.”

That makes sense. I should know, because one time I was trapped in the belly of a whale with nothing but my SCUBA gear, and after I clawed my way out the press asked me what I looked forward to the most and I said, “I’m sick of this silly black wetsuit, and I never want to see anything in the shape of an oxygen tank again. Also, my body is covered in bloody red lesions, and I’m sick of it, and I can’t wait to get home and spraypaint myself green. No more black, no more red, no more cylinders, got it?”

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