A federal bankruptcy judge has agreed that O.J. Simpson is little more than a selfish, cowardly turd and thus awarded Ron Goldman’s family full rights to his canceled book, “If I Did It,” ruling that Simpson tried to hide his profits, much like he tried to hide his much ballyhooed double-homicide in the 90s.

A manuscript of the book was handed over to a trustee last Friday, but HarperCollins Publishing retains any existing copies of the book, though they shouldn’t, according to the judge and any remote sense of right or wrong.

One attorney interviewed said,

“Right and wrong aside, this isn’t a black and white issue,” adding, “well, in the case of [O.J. and the] Goldmans, it’s more black than white.”

The Goldmans want to rename the book “Confessions of a Double Murderer,” holding back on better titles like “how that f*cker killed our daughter” and “Here’s how the Goldman’s Would Kill Me, if There Was a White Version of Johnny Cochran”. It is estimated that O.J. has already netted in excess of $600,000 from the confessional, which is sick, wrong, and very interesting to would-be murderers like me.

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