In what is bound to be the grossest celebrity news to be read this week, Page six has reported of an act of such ungodly and blasphemous proportions, you might as well crucify yourself to cleanse humanity before, what is sure to be, the second coming of Christ:

“GET ready to cringe during Sir Ben Kingsley’s new movie, ‘The Wackness,’ in which the Oscar-winner, 63, passionately locks lips with tiny Mary-Kate Olsen, 21. Currently shooting in New York, the film directed by Jonathan Levine is about a drug dealer who trades marijuana for therapy sessions with his shrink, played by Kingsley. Insiders say the steamy scene with Olsen - described as a ‘full on make-out session’ - was shot at a Greenpoint watering hole.”

Have you seen what Mary-Kate looks like? If you haven’t, I’ll redirect you to her sister, Ashley Olsen. Oh, you don’t know what either of them look like? Ok…that’s not a problem. Not a problem. Remember “E.T.: The Extraterrestrial?” You know the part towards the end when both ET and his friend—the kid from E.T., as he is most commonly remembered—are separated from one another, and E.T. develops some sort of alien AIDS and begins to horribly wither away? Yeah, well that’s what Mary-Kate looks like, except grosser… and less humanoid… and with a stylist.

Ok, now imagine your very reserved, straight-laced, distinguished grandfather goes up to that decrepit thing and makes out with it. Gramps even cops a feel or two. Oh, yeah. Mmmmm. Deliciousness. Talk about an erection killer. Feel free to bill us for your Cialis prescription.

Share It!