Prosecutors have confirmed that Lindsay Lohan will not be charged with any crime for the theft of the clothing it is strongly alleged, and almost certain, that she stole. It seems they can’t confirm that she walked off with someone’s clothes, so the district attorney will decline to file felony grand theft charges. Insufficient evidence strikes again, baby, and it strikes all over Lindsay Lohan.

Lohan is a basket case, I guess, because these things make news. A woman alleged that Lohan took a shirt and other clothing after stopping by her apartment while she was away for a few days. Apparently the house sitter gave Lohan several articles of clothing, though there is no direct evidence of it, let alone that it would have been a crime.

Deputy District Attorney Greg “Got-Nothing” said that, “The bottom line is that Lohan can’t be shown to have been seen either taking or to have been later in possession of missing items and items she can be shown to have possessed were with (explicit, undeniable) permission.”

Lohan was seen wearing a plaid shirt similar to one reported missing, but photos of the shirt in comparison did not match. Calls placed to Lohan’s representatives went unreturned, as usual.

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