Lindsay Lohan, famous for any number of unimaginable things, did the less-than-sensational this week when she opted to settle a record contract dispute out of court. On the heels of rehab trouble, the star recognized her no-win situation and made this scandal simply disappear. How? With outrageous, though undisclosed, sums of money. Gosh I sure wish I had those.

Lohan’s troubles date back to a 2002 record contract her mother signed on her behalf. The then-child-star even recorded half of the album before a better contract came along, and she took it like a fat baggy of dope or silicone. Dream as you wish, but I prefer to think of her with both.

The allegations filed in court papers include breach of contract and fraud.

Best part to me is that court papers call her mother “Dinah” (instead of the correct “Dina”), and the star Lindsey (instead of the accurate “Lindsay”). Clearly they don’t read our paper, but have they ever heard of Google? Maybe it’s not really them named in the suit.

Lindsay may face a fine of almost $5,000 for failing to appear at a deposition. She can’t say she didn’t receive proper notice, since she was served by what appeared to be an autograph seeker in front of the 21st Annual American Cinematheque Award Gala by a woman who handed her a pen and paper, informed her she’d been served legal notice, and disappeared into the crowd.

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