Just moments after PETA issued an enraged and damning statement declaring Britney Spears an unfit pet owner and insisting that Kevin Federline assume immediate custody of her myriad canines, Dr. Lloyd M. Krieger, MD, director of the Beverly Hills cosmetic surgery clinic Rodeo Drive, has taken action to reclaim Britney’s big fake BOOBS…and Kevin Federline might get them, too!

“Britney Spears is clearly unfit to take care of her big fake boobs,” he said at a recent press conference that only FOX News showed up for. “For the sake of the children, the animals, the public at large, and the poor boobs themselves, we declare that Britney Spears’ huge fake breasts are at terrible risk while still in Ms. Spears’ custody. I urge Miss Spears to do the right and best thing for all concerned and return the boobs to our Hollywood clinic, where further action as to what will be done with the boobs will be decided.”

Is there any chance of Federline getting the big fake boobs, like he got the kids and the dogs? Maybe, according to Dr. Kreiger

“Federline? I don’t see why not. He’d be a much better boob-haver than Britney. Anyone would. Clearly she has no true regard or affection for them. She just used them as pawns in her desperate grab for fame. But now, with all of the drugging and partying and other myriad unbecoming behaviors and habits, it’s clear that those poor boobs are in tremendous danger as long as they remain in her custody. More so even than the kids or the dogs. Sure,I’d give ‘em to Kevin. ”

A mean spokesperson for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said, “Hell yeah! Sounds like a great idea to me…take the crazy bitch’s boobs, too!”

The boobs were unavailable for comment.

Adrian Ryan

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