Infamous Hamster Smuggler Richard Gere Says Bali Kiss Meant Nothing
If you’ve ever heard an unsubstantiated, unfounded and eventually disproved urban legend about “Pretty Woman” star Richard Gere, you’ve seen the depths to which this actor will stoop, at least according to people who don’t like him for reasons unknown. This time, Richard Gere doesn’t have to ferret out the rat, he knows the debaucheristic rumors stem only from the culturally insensitive moves he put on Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty at a New Delhi AIDS awareness event.
So offensive was it when Gere swooped in and stole a hot, Hindi necking, that the northern city of Jaipur has put out a warrant for his arrest. Gere, still on the run following the release of “Dr. T and the Women” is not expected to surrender himself.
Protesters in India wanted more than just their money back from their nickel bootlegs of Autumn in New York, so took to the streets burning effigies of Gere and Shetty. Gere may have felt like a hamster on an ever-spinning wheel in defense of his actions, but as a Guinea Pig in a greater test, he was more of a mouse in a maze hunting for the elusive cheese of acceptance.
Gere publicly stated that, “Me kissing the girl on the cheek was nothing… There is a very small right-wing, very conservative political party in India and they are the moral police in India … they do this kind of thing quite often. It goes to a reputable court and it gets thrown out.”
It’s a very different culture, so surely he otter know better, but the western celebrity was no more than a rodent trapped in the sphincter of the sub-continental sphincter that is India. Clearly, this is one chipmunk who won’t gopher any awards over there any time soon, so he’d be best to squirrel his own nuts away and for good… gerbil.
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We Indians still like Mr Gere. In fact no more than a few dozen people at a time took to the streets burning Mr Gere’s effigies and in only four different towns. I am sure you know that India is a country of about a billion people with hundreds of such towns. There were hundreds of people present in the audience when this kissing took place. None of them including Ms Shetty cared about it. Hardly anyone does now.
The judge who issued this warrant works out of a court in small town India and not out of ‘ New Delhi ‘. The lawyer who filed this suit is notorious for filing about fifty similar suits in the past and thus clogging the system. This is not the first time a Public Interest Litigation ( PIL ) application in India has been abused. In a similarly ridiculous attempt, a lawyer had sued a famous cricketer for eating beef! I can assure you no one in India has or will ever go to jail for either eating beef or for kissing someone. This is what Soli Sorabjee, former Attorney General of India had to say about Gere’s warrant - “The order is ridiculous. Even if this hugging and kissing was a bit vulgar, it does not amount to obscenity.”
“They are just seeking publicity,” he said.
Another senior lawyer called the order “an act of judicial indecency.”
“This is only for cheap publicity and the magistrate and lawyer should be restrained,” Dushyant Dave told the Times of India newspaper.
The legal community in India has in fact slammed this warrant.
I am saddened that the American media is sensationalizing this incident by using headlines screaming - ” The Kiss that Shocked India ” or ” Protests Rock India “. Why should the great majority of Indians be made to look retrograde for the actions of a few rascals?
By the way have you checked out the Kingfisher Swimsuit Calendar from last year? It’s India’s answer to the famous Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition; only the Indian models make the Americans look like nuns!
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