It has been reported, and by much hairier men than I, that Annie Lennox can, on occasion, transform her proper British self into one awesome mf-ing biz-natch. And recently was just such an occasion. And so she did.

 
And god dammit, you do TO know who Annie Lennox is, don’t make me fucking smack you. And according to reports, Annie Lennox (Eurythmics, dammit, Eurythmics!) shocked a horrible audience full of total ingrates by telling them all to go to hell and suck a shoe (in a manner of speaking) and giving them all the finger. Here’s what happened: 

Annie sang (fabulously, no doubt) at a UNICEF benefit on Tuesday. She sang her little heart out as usual (or so the story goes) but the room full of very rude bitches that seemed wont to attend this particular UNICEF benefit kept chatting and drinking and laughing and being bitches and were not paying enough attention to Annie up there being dazzling (as usual) at all. (THE INDIGNITY!) So naturally Annie got ticked–and who blames her? I ask you?— finished her song, and said, ‘Thank you for listening’ and gave them the finger.  

Yes, the finger! Says an eyewitness:  

“She said everyone was loud and rude and they should have their five mojitos and ‘go see KC and the Sunshine Band if you want to act that way.’”  

KC and the Sunshine Band, indeed. Whether Annie gave them all the American so-called “finger” or the proper British “finger” has yet to be determined. And YES, there is a DIFFERENCE, look it UP.  

Were you born in a barn?  

Forgive me. I kid because I love.  

And UNICEF is, like, a front for the Mafia, right? I thought so.  

Elsewhile: Jennifer Lopez has confirmed that she is 34 months pregnant.  

In other news: no one gave a shit.  

Adrian Ryan

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