Wanted: Sleazy, soulless skank, addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, attention and prescription medication needed for leading role in Hollywood thriller with impossibly shitty, incoherent script, bad direction, incompetent supporting actors, embarrassing editing and cinematography. Having a criminal record, brainless attention whore with a nice rack for a mom and a convicted felon for a dad is a plus.

In what is certain to be one of this summers biggest shockers, movie goers think Lindsay Lohans new movie “I Know Who Killed Me” sucks. It seems really strange to me. You would think that casting one of Hollywood’s most “Good God! what the hell is that whore even famous for anyway?” personalities in the leading role would cement its summer box office success.

What do I know anyway… lets hear from the critics:

“THERE’S been a lot of speculation this week about Lindsay Lohan’s latest antics damaging her movie career - but sadly, it would be hard for the troubled actress to sink much lower than “I Know Who Killed Me.”

Sony dumped this sleazy, inept and worthless piece of torture porn into theaters yesterday”

- NY Post

Given that this is a Linday Lohan movie, you might expect the answer to be the bartender or the drug-dealer—or even the assistant’s mother. (Or maybe to be a story of self-destruction.) But “I Know Who Killed Me” is the sort of picture that has nothing whatsoever to do with real life. Its true ancestors are the lurid grande dame exercises in Grand Guignol from the 1960s—wild, operatic, implausible flicks like “Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte.” But those movies were fun; this sleazy, silly thriller is so bad it doesn’t even seem to realize it’s unadulterated kitsch.

- OneGuysOpinion.com

Talk about adding insult to injury. At the same time that Lindsay Lohan’s personal life hits a new low, she suffers the additional indignity of starring in “I Know Who Killed Me,” a jaw-droppingly inept thriller that some jokesters have already been dubbed “I Know Who Killed My Career.”

- Kalamazoo Gazette

With sky-blue tools, gloves and mask, the killer looks so much like a member of the Blue Man Group that you expect him to spit marshmallows at his victims.

- Chicago Tribune

Having broken free of the Disney machine that molded her, Lohan now seems intent on destroying her career and credibility on her own terms.
A.V. Club Rating:

- AVclub.com

Share It!