I warn you. I am about to say something about Britney fucking Spears. Many things, perhaps. There’s nothing either of us can do about it, and I am sorry. Really. But I have no choice. The Voice gets really angry when I don’t do exactly as it says. And please forget that.

So then. Barfbags a-ready? It begins.

Britney Spears arrived just a wee bit fashionably late to the set of her new “video” (do they still make “videos”?) that she was shooting for some wretched song she wrote called “Piece of Me.” As in “the court takes a piece of me every week and test it for crystal meth!” And just how late is “a wee bit fashionably” late? Why, I’m so glad you asked!

12 hours Late. 12 HOURS! And in some circles that’s half a day. And the dancers and staff? Why, they were just thrilled to pieces about it!

“In the video, Spears and four look-alikes — dressed in black newsboy caps, sunglasses, black trench coats and short blond wigs — to try trick the paparazzi. Spears used a “body double to shoot all the scenes that don’t require her face,”

That’s the report some of those thrilled dancers and staff leaked to media about the event, just to get back at the dizzy twat. And who can blame them? I ask you.

THEN! The aforementioned dizzy twat flipped out large when she was told by revolted salespeople at the West Hollywood Hustler Store that she wasn’t supposed to be trying on the nasty thong panties she was, indeed, trying on—right in the middle of the store, in view of 15 or more people. “The employees kept saying ‘Don’t change out here!’ She’s just like, ‘Well, I couldn’t take them in the fitting room!’ It was like dealing with a child.”

Then, when the staff moved to make her pay for the now soiled short-shorts:

“She rolled her eyes, but paid with a credit card…but on her way out, she went up to a mannequin, snatched the wig off the head, and stole it!”

Experts agree that at least she’ll WEAR the damn wig. The panties, on the other hand, are a total loss.
Adrian Ryan

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