Now, when I said just a few weeks ago that Eddy Murphy slept with a drag queen, what I meant to say exactly was that Eddie Murphy had sex a man, with a penis, dressed as a woman. At least that was the word on the street. (And in his police file circa the early ’80s… Wikipedia that shit!)But now one can’t help but wonder, does that whole “having sex with drag queens” thing have anything to do with his marriage to some actress called “Tracey Edmonds” two weeks ago crumbling just two weeks later? Does it? Does it?
We’ll never know. All we know is he got married two weeks ago, and today he isn’t married anymore. Go figure. As the Hebrews or whatever like to say.

But the only huge, tragic flaw in this scenario, the fly in the ointment of this drag queeny theory, is that I love Eddie Murphy too much and would never say anything so salacious as “he had sex with a drag queen” about him, and I’m not saying that now either. And neither are you. So we’re in accord, then.

Alright.

The French would say, “d’accord”, of course, but I won’t be saying that either, as I’m not the slightest bit French, and would never presume. But here’s the vague details of the couple’s disintegration, if you’re curious, straight from the publicist’s mouth:

“After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further. While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.” 

And if you really read between the lines, you know exactly what this tells us, don’t you? Don’t you?

Neither do I. But I bet it had nothing to do with drag queens. All we know for sure is that they aren’t married anymore. And that’s enough for me. Because I don’t care. So there.

DAMN DRAG QUEENS! 

Adrian Ryan

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