Can I get something off my chest? A small confession? Britney Spears has stolen each and every sweet juicy drop of nectar from that big beautiful fruit that is trash talking celebrities. I loathe even the taste of her name on my tongue at this point. Loathe it!

Overexposure? Thy name is Brintey fucking Spears.

So, with that clearly in mind, I submit to you this question: Who the hell gives a flaming turd pie WHAT that crazed blonde bimbo was talking about when she began raving and raging in court this week and screamed something exactly like, “Eat it! Lick it! Snort it! Fuck it!” as she rushed all a-flurry from the room where the latest of her uncountable custody hearings was being held? Not the fuck me. That’s the fuck who. And not the fuck you either, I bet. That’s why the fuck I love you.

And it has been reported by men far wiser than I that a great big poofter (that’s British for “fagwad”) calling itself Pierce Brosnan is the latest so called “star” to jump upon that speeding train of the felonious and famous, as he is “currently” (as the say) under “investigation” by “police” in “Los Angeles” after “allegedly” beating the crap out of some poor idiot who tried to take his picture.

Of course Pierce should frankly get down on his scabby Irish knees and praise sweet Jesus that anyone, anywhere even WANTS to take his picture instead of beating the crap out of them, as everyone knows he is the undisputed most horrible James Bond ever, and damn annoying in general.

Mr. Brosnan evidently doesn’t feel the same way. This of course isn’t the first time Mr. Brosnan has been associated in violent random outbursts, as it is widely known that in the Simpson’s Tree House of Horror Halloween Special that I just watched, he was a homicidal house that tried to murder Homer by cramming him down the garbage disposal.

So. There you go.

Adrian Ryan

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