I don’t know what’s more upsetting: The fact that Chris Angel boned one of the ugliest, dirtiest, most vile women in Hollywood. OR, the fact that Britney Spears’ STD ridden vagina hasn’t detached itself from Britney’s body and placed itself up for adoption in some animal shelter.  Maybe Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will confuse its bruised and sickly flesh for a deformed Ethiopian baby. Zaara or Zahara or Salmahera or whatever the hell her name is, I’m sure, could use a little sister.

“LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Is Criss Angel the new boy toy of Britney Spears… or is it all an illusion?

Brit and the “Mindfreak” magician were seen entering The Tower Hotel in Beverly Hills late Wednesday night…and then leaving Thursday afternoon. Before hitting the hotel, the pair hit the town as Angel met up with Brit and pals at Cravings Restaurant in Hollywood. They were later reportedly photographed rolling around town in Angel’s Rolls-Royce. Britney is just the latest starlet to be seen out and about with the 39-year-old illusionist. He’s previously been linked to the likes of Cameron Diaz, Paris Hilton and Minnie Driver.”

I guess this will be a rude awakening for Chris Angel. Because contrary to what Chris believes, he isn’t some kind of neo-goth wizard with levitating, invisibility and vanishing capabilities that can make the human wasteland known as Britney Spears desirable. Trick decks and smoke and mirrors can only go so far.

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