The biggest challenge I face when writing for this site is finding a topic that is actually worth commentary. So much of what passes for celebrity “news” is not news at all but rather the day-to-day lives of celebrities. The top story on people.com as of 4:07 AM on August 16^th is (and I am not making this up!) that Ben Afleck and Jennifer Garner walked around a shopping mall in Brentwood with their kid. I know it’s really early in the morning but I’m contemplating calling a bunch of my friends and waking them up so they get the news! I dare anyone to write 300-500 funny, gripping words about that.

So some days instead of getting one big article, you will get pithy comments some of the headlines on a given site. Today is people.com.

People.com Headlines

Cameron Diaz Totes a Big Purse in New York City- The headline is the story. It’s not a play-on-words. The story is that Cameron Diaz walked around New York City carrying a big purse. That’s it! Consider yourself informed!

Heidi Klum Brings the Sexy Back After Her Third Child- Basically the story is a vehicle to reassure creeps like me that her looks haven’t gone south since she’s had her third kid. She still looks great and there are photos to prove it. I consider her the hottest woman in the world and she hasn’t lost a step. Hopefully a divorce is a possibility down the road.

Scott Hamilton and Wife Are Expecting Baby No. 2- Scott Hamilton, a guy who won an Olympic Figure skating medal 23 years ago and who is now a figure skating announcer is having another kid with his wife Tracie, who isn’t even famous. In other very important news, the Guy Who Made the Sound Effects in the Police Academy Movies is having his kitchen remodeled.

Lauren Conrad: I Don’t Even Know Heidi Anymore-Apparently Lauren Conrad is a person on a show called The Hills on MTV. Apparently The Hills (I learned this after googling The Hills) is a reality show on MTV about women breaking into fashion in Los Angeles. Apparently “Heidi”, is a person name Heidi Montag, who was Lauren’s “BFF” on The Hills. Apparently (I learned this after googling BFF) BFF stands for Best Fucking Friend. Anyway, the point of the article is that Heidi and Lauren still don’t get along. Although I don’t give a rat’s ass about whether Heidi and Lauren get along, the article (as I’m sure you can tell) was very informative (at least for me).

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