Thanks to “an undisclosed medical condition”, Paris Hilton is out of jail and back at home, suffering the everyday life of a person who doesn’t have to go to work, nor be in jail. There’s so much to love about not being in jail, and here are the top nine things Paris loves the most.

1 – Jail and her pad are both “the big house”, but hers is a just a little bit bigger.

2 – Unlimited access to all the food she could possibly hope to gag up.

3 – In her house, the biggest submissive bitch is her toy chihuahua.

4 – Though not domestic, she gets to live an extra ounce of the Martha Stuart lifestyle.

5 – Sometimes a bubble bath makes incarceration just that much easier to deal with.

6 – Unlike the risk of being shanked by a cell mate in the slammer, at home, her greatest fear is being robbed by her cut-rate, illegal maid.

7 – After dropping the soap in the shower, she knows it will be herself that takes the advantage.

8 – She can Google herself from home. Fortunately for readers, she never does.

9 – Most of all, she loves it because house arrest isn’t any kind of arrest at all. It’s the same thing as when your car is in the shop and your best friend is out of town for the weekend.

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