Federal authorities informed Moore this month that they were launching an investigation to determine whether he violated the U.S. trade embargo, which restricts Americans’ travel to, and business with the island nation of Cuba. The OFAC acknowledges Moore applied for permission to go to Cuba, but said “no determination had been made.” Now Moore is requesting to see his intelligence file, and he isn’t likely to get it any more than a thank you card.

The controversial documentarian and chased chubby filed a Freedom of Information Act request this month asking for all of the documents pertaining to the investigation of the Treasury’s Office of Foreign Assets Control regarding Moore’s trip to Cuba during the making of his latest film, SiCKO. It is believed that he will not receive any documentation at all, as is almost universally the case.

Presidential hopeless Fred Thompson took the conviction to the media suggesting Moore may have used the trip to illegally import cigars, though himself taking Big Tobacco money in spite of Thompson refused requests to meet in a public forum. Moore has insured that duplicate copies of the film exist in several countries, to insure eventual release of the film.

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Lorraine Brooke Associates, the defunct company headed by Simpson’s oldest daughter, Arnelle, retains the rights to the book controversial quasi-confession, “If I Did It”, in which the former NFL star explained how he might have committed the killings he did of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and sexy boy toy Ron Goldman. Going broke may work as a defense of your civil suit, but a federal judge has ordered the company to turn over any copies of Simpson’s canceled book.

The judge ordered all copies of the book, including excerpts, summaries and early manuscripts, be turned over to prevent any unauthorized distribution, dissemination or accidental reveal of methods other would-be murderers might utilize to get away with double homicide.

“The Juice” was acquitted of the murder he committed in 1995, following the most peculiar, public and kangaroo trial in American history. The book, which was rumored to have been called, “Because I Did It”, “The Way I Did It”, “Stop Asking, I Did It”, or “Seriously, I Really Did It”, has been the subject of public and legal wranglings alike.

To date, the Goldman family has been unsuccessful in collecting on the $33.5 million settlement they were awarded more than a decade ago. Calls to attorneys representing Lorraine Brooke and other attorneys involved in the bankruptcy case were not immediately returned Friday, Saturday or Sunday.

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Lindsay Lohan was arrested for suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday in Beverly Hills, and was photographed less than 48-hours later slumped over in the passenger seat of a car, perhaps tired, drunk or in a drugged stupor. Lohan had admitted to rehab treatment as recently as last January, but quitters never win, so it seems she may be back to drugs, based on the cocaine police found left behind in her wrecked Mercedes. Remember kids, only users lose drugs.

The shots picture Lohan in a foppish hooded sweat shirt, with her eyes shut and mouth as wide open as seen only in most dream sequences. Another picture shows her kneeling on the ground, also much like in male fantasies.

The photos surfaced Monday, apparently taken early that morning at a gas station.

Lohan’s publicist, Zelnik, didn’t return repeated requests for comment from The Associated Press and others.

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When Malibu police responded to a reported shooting February 3rd at the home of character actor Ryan O’Neal, he had every defense he needed for illegal discharge of a firearm and attempted murder… he was apparently just firing a warning shot at his son, with whom he was brawling. Sure, Griffin O’Neal attacked dear old dad with a fireplace poker, leaving bruises on the 66 year old star of such screen gems as “Love Story” and “Paper Moon”, but witness accounts conflicted, so after three-months of consideration, charges will not be filed.

The senior O’Neal’s attorney said, “It’s a tremendous relief for Mr. O’Neal to have this resolved favorably in this manner.” Dad has been free on a $50,000 bond, the younger Griffin was not arrested or charged. Since daddy-o will not face criminal charges, Griffin O’Neal and his girlfriend “will now explore all of their legal options,” including a civil lawsuit to sap the inheritance prior to death.

The father and son have had their disagreements before, though not in almost twenty-years. The Los Angeles Times reported that police were called in 1983 after a fight in which Ryan O’Neal knocked out two of his son’s teeth. No charges were filed. Griffin was also convicted of reckless boating in 1986 for an accident that killed the son of film director Francis Ford Coppola, but was later only given an 18 day jail sentence for failing to perform the community service sentence. He also pleaded no contest in two unrelated cases to drunk driving and shooting at the unoccupied car of an estranged girlfriend.

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Lindsay Lohan, whose movie Georgia Rule premiered May 11, allegedly smashed her Mercedes Benz over a curb into some shrubs on Sunset Boulevard, in Beverly Hills, May 26th, according to police investigators who found what appeared to be cocaine in her dead, battered car. Lt. Mitch McCann of Beverly Hills PD said Lohan was released to hospital custody for treatment of minor injuries and chemical evaluation, and that they have charged Lohan with misdemeanor driving under the influence, since the crash seemed to have resulted from speeding, possibly caused by a cocaine induced mania.

A rep for Lohan could not be reached for comment, but the 20-year-old super-freak was tracked to Century City hospital after calls of hit and run to 911, “where she was ultimately placed under arrest” for investigation of misdemeanor driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs charges. She was released, but will have to appear soon before the judge.

Lohan admitted to dabbling with drugs in 2005, but denied using cocaine The day before the arrest, Lohan stated she was maturing, and that her partying lifestyle is age appropriate, over stated and temporary, saying, “I’m just a girl, but I’m growing up; I’m learning.”

Following news of Lindsay Lohan’s weekend DUI, Svedka vodka has retracted sponsorship of Lohan’s 21st birthday bash this July in Las Vegas. Svedka suggested it might seem irresponsible to be associated with the perpetually intoxicated starlet. Hard to hear “drink responsibly” when the spokesmodel is Lindsay Lohan.

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News Corp owner Rupert Murdoch, long a mouth-piece for the Neo-Con administration, has found himself up against the ropes this week, and this time the contender is, get this, his very own newspaper. He’s been trying like hell to buy the “Wall Street Journal”, and thereby the Dow Jones Industrial average, and ideally still maintain his so called “fair and balanced” idiom. Idiom my ass.

Rupert Murdoch has been accused of personally killing top stories in the New York Post specifically to meet his own personal, political agenda. Affidavits have taken it a tad further, stating that Murdoch had demanded stories about Bill and Hillary Clinton be pushed to the forefront, while stories about a Chinese diplomat and his strip club forays were buried, because it might have angered Murdoch’s bestest buddies, the international affiliates who make his overseas ventures so stupidly profitable, if not surprisingly and needlessly so.

The Bancroft family, who still owns controlling interest in The Wall Street Journal, need not look so far as the Times or Post’s New York to know what a media bastard this Murdoch fellow is. What’s shocking is not that there’s a backlash against him, but that it has come from his own newspaper. Fox News even went so far as to give a glowing review of the decidedly left winger Michael Moore’s new film SiCKO, which has been a point of contention most specifically to the tabloid mouthpieces of Fox News.

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Big enough of a shocker, Criss Angel managed to make Cameron Diaz appear magically as his girlfriend, but now, in the third season of his self-titled fecal excuse for an A&E show, even by A&E standards, and he’s looking to take illusion to the publicity stunt status like David Blaine has so sadly popularized. Criss Angel ain’t Houdini, let alone Blaine, Copperfield, Penn or Teller, but come June 4th in New York’s Time Square he’ll be encased in a block, the shape ostensibly chosen to match his head, and hoisted 40 feet off the ground.

The ambiguously straight 39 year old magi-illusionist will be shackled inside a steel reinforced four foot by four foot by four foot glass cube. The box will be lifted into the air, filled with three inches of concrete in full view of spectators, and he’ll then attempt to free himself and climb down to the parking lot before whatchamacallit, dying a horrible death, no matter how long over due.

Criss Angel isn’t just the biggest draw for A&E since “Evening at the Improv”, but also an eyeliner smattered clown of most hackneyed magical sorts. If you think for even a fraction of a second he’s anything less than predictable, Google his tricks and you’ll see what he’s really all about… Did I already say hackneyed? Thought so. He did get to nail Diaz, which is cool, but more of a discredit to her than a credit to him as a person than him as a celebrity.

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Keira Knightley has won a landmark case against a British Tabloid, netting a whopping $6,000 settlement, thanks to a story that suggested she was at fault for the death of a wafer-thin teenager suffering from anorexia. The odd-talking cutey also convinced the court that the story also falsely reported that she herself suffers from the same eating disorder. Silly tabloid, she might merely be bulimic.

Last January, the Daily Mail ran a picture of Knightley in a bikini with the headline: “If pictures like this one of Keira carried a health warning, my darling daughter might have lived.”

Knightley’s lawyer said the article had been interpreted to mean that she was personally endorsing eating disorders, and somehow directly responsible for the death of the 19-year-old Sophie Mazurek. In addition to the historically cheap settlement, attorneys for the Daily Mail admitted that she, “Does not have an eating disorder, and [that they have] misled the public.”

Knightley will donate the settlement to the eating disorder and mental illness charity Beat.

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Antagonistic talk show matron Rosie O’Donnell will leave ABC’s “The View” prematurely following an on-air spat with Elisabeth Hasselbeck over the Iraq war that has repeatedly aired across cable television shows, according to her network. O’Donnell is known for her unashamedly liberal views, and Hasselbeck is a political conservative, and they’ve battled frequently on the show, though they still say they’re good friends off-screen. Fair enough, but that Rosie is gone, and good riddance to bad rubbish indeed.

Brian Fons, president of ABC Daytime Television has said in a statement, “We had hoped that Rosie would be with us until the end of her contract three weeks from now, but Rosie has informed us that she would like an early leave. Therefore, we part ways, thank her for her tremendous contribution to ‘The View’ and wish her well.”

The shouting match led up to the two women calling one another “cowardly” just short of the commercial break cutting the confrontation short. O’Donnell has been credited with bringing controversy to the tune of runaway ratings successes, but critics have been, well, critical.

O’Donnell has been criticized for many of her beliefs, including those lambasting Donald Trump, who discarded her and her decidedly lesbian statements as “ugly”, thereby needlessly unnecessary.

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International action star and so-called heartthrob Chow Yun-Fat, who has kicked as much American ass on the big screen as he does as the pirate Lord Captain Sao Feng in “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,” says he’d like to land a leading role in a Hollywood drama or romance. Boo hoo, I know, but this particularly un-crouched tiger is finding a difficult go of it.

Fat, 51, who is bigger in Asia than Gamera, has complained about the same sort of professional frustrations faced even by Godzilla in the American movie industry, though he only speaks barely more than the three hundred foot monster star.

Chow Yun-Fat, whose name is still comical to the American ear, says, “Honestly, I prefer (to do) more dramas. In American society … Asian actors are not accepted as leading men. Maybe we have to wait for a few more years.”

The “Anna and the King” star has made more than a name for himself in American action films, but at his age, the likelihood of any role, even a dramatic one, is exceptionally uncommon and the odds are only growing worse by the day. Still, I’m not gay or anything, and barely in to Asians, and even I can admit that the “Replacement Killers” star alongside Mira Sorvino is easily half-about as covetable and hot as her, assuming he isn’t required to talk too much.

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